The Past Can Hurt As Much As The Present
by Marblez
Summary: Warning: Attempted rape, mentions of rape and SLASH. A fic about the knight's growing up, trainingetc but focuses on Gawion, Galahad and Tristen and their pasts...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own King Arthur. The background stories to all but Lancelot I have made up as this is a work of fiction, not a history book so if you know that it is deffinatly not true...just go with it ok? I may be an A-Level history student but we don't learn about Arthur and his knights.

**Warning: Attempted rape, mentions of rape, violence and slash. If you no likey you no ready.**

The Past Can Hurt Just As Much As The Present

Chapter One

"You will hit nothing if you hold it like that," Gawain was startled by the voice that came from behind him and he dropped his bow to the floor where it landed with a clatter. He turned to see an older boy, Tristan smirking at him. "Pick it up." Usually Gawain would have said no, if it had been any other boy he would have, but Tristan had a certain air around him that ordered obediance. "Aim." Gawain did so slowly, he'd never been comfortable using a bow so in his childhood he'd focussed on the sword. He nearly dropped it again when he felt Tristans' hand on his elbow, pulling it down so his arm was parallel to the ground and then he tilted the bow slightly. "Shoot." The arrow hit the target in the second to middle ring. "Shoot like that everytime and you'll never miss." With that he left, leaving an amazed Gawain staring at the target.

"I've never hit the target before today, my father said i was alost cause with the bow, I'd like to see his face now" Gawain told Galahad as the two sat on Galahad's bed. Galahad was the youngest knight at 11 and Tristan the eldest at 15. Gawain himself was 14 and therefore one of the elder boys. Galahad was being surprisingly quiet today, usually he could talk the hind legs off a donkey but after training he'd hardly said a word. "What's wrong Galahad?"

"Nothing," Galahad said quickly, too quickly.

"Galahad, please don't lie to me," Gawain said quietly. Galahad sighed.

"One of the Roman's, he keeps watching me and then today he...he pinned me against the wall and kissed me. He said he was going to do worse, he said he would..." Galahad trailed off, looking at the edge of his kilt. Gawain stared at him in shock. "I don't want him to...to 'do worse', I don't want him near me, he scares me, he will hurt me, he-"

"Shh Galahad," Gawain interupted his younger friend, pulling him into a hug. "I won't let him, I promise."

Something had woken him, he was sure of that. He wasn't a heavy sleeper and would wake when someone approached. Grabbing his knife he rose from his bed and looked around the room. There was a man standing by one of the bunks, stroking whoever was in the top bunks hair. He could just make out the words the man was saying,

"You're going to come with me boy and then we're going to have some fun, your going to be my little toy aren't you? It wasn't very nice of you to tell your friend, now I've had to hurt him to get to you. To take what I deserve from your lovely little body."

Looking at the bottom bunk he saw Gawain slumping off the side of the bed, blood dripping from a cut to his forehead. That meant the one being harrassed was Galahad. This made him angrier, the youngest was being sexually harrassed. Long bueried feelings awoke inside him and his rage grew.

Stealthily he crept towards the man but froze as Galahad was pulled from the bed to the floor. The poor boy was sobbing but it was muffled when the man covered his mouth with his hand. The man started to drag Galahad out into the corridor and he followed. He waited for the perfect chance to attack, to teach the man a lesson.

It came quickly for the man pushed Galahad into a corner and pulled up his toga. Galahad sobbed louder as the man moved closer to him, spinning him round so he faced the wall. The man moved closer but was stopped suddenly by a cold knife pressing against his manhood. He gulped.

"I don't think that that is such a good idea," Galahad's saviour spoke for the first time. The man actually whimpered. "Never again will you try to use an innocent body for your own pleasure, you shouldn't have tried it this time. Men like you belong it hell, I've already sent one there, I won't mind doing it again. But I think I'll let you get away with a warning this time, so he'd this warning for next time I will do more." The knife moved quickly leaving a deep cut. The man screamed. "Get out of here before I do more." The man ran. Galahad had sunk to his knees, hugging himself as he cried. He looked up to see his saviour.

"Thank you Tristan, thank you so much," he whispered. Tristan nodded and wiped his knife clean on his black leggings before he helped Galahad to his feet.

"Tomorow I am going to teach you ways to defend yourself against other men like that man," Tristan told Galahad as he walked him back to his bed. Gawain was regaining consciousness, groaning and holding his forehead.

"Galahad," he gasped when he saw them. "I'm sorry I failed you, did he..."

"No, Tristan stopped him," Galahad grabbed a rag and cleaned the blood of Gawain's forehead. Gawain looked up at Tristan.

"The man will never again try and rape Galahad, or any other," Tristan said quietly.

"Did you...?" Gawain asked.

"I did not kill him, you'd both better get some sleep, we have training tomorow," Tristan moved back to his own bed. Gawain took the clothe from Galahad and motioned for him to get back into bed. Galahad whimpered, remembering what had happened last time he was in that bed.

"Could I stay with you? Just for tonight?" Galahad asked quietly. Gawain nodded and moved over in the bed to allow Galahad to lie in it with him. Soon the two were asleep but Tristan stayed awake, lost in his own memories.

_Large hands running over his body, stripping away his clothing. The gag was rough against his mouth except where his tears were soaking it. Then pain, such unbearable pain. He screamed, but of course the gag muffled it. His cries turned to whimpers as the man continued until he was through. _

Tristan closed his eyes against the painful memory, but unfortunatly that wasn't the only memory of that nature, it was just the first.

A/N There we go, little bit angsty ain't it. More to come but if you hate it I won't post it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own King Arthur. The background stories to all but Lancelot I have made up as this is a work of fiction, not a history book so if you know that it is deffinatly not true...just go with it ok? I may be an A-Level history student but we don't learn about Arthur and his knights.

**Warning: Attempted rape, mentions of rape, violence and slash. If you no likey you no ready.**

The Past Can Hurt Just As Much As The Present

**I must apologise to Lucy for the fact that she finds male rape...and I quote 'creepy'. So here's another warning, male rape for Tristan. If that makes you want to be sick I'd get a barf bag or leave.**

Chapter Two

"I want a volunteer," the commander said to the 20 boys.

"Depends what for," Bors said cheekily. The boys laughed as the roman soldiers got slightly annoyed...or rather very annoyed.

"Don't ask questions boy, if no one volunteers we will just have to pick someone and then the rest of you will suffer," the commander warned and the boys groaned.

"I'll do it," Tristan stepped forewards. The commander grinned, grabbed his arm and dragged him the door, saying loudly so not only Tristan heard,

"You're the squad's new scout and tracker. You're training starts right now."

"You can't make a noise no matter what, no matter what happens to you, you must be silent," Tristan was told. He didn't like the sound of this (no pun intended). He was right, a fist hit him squarly in the back, then another in his stomach. Tristan didn't make a sound as they beat him, but what this had to do with being a scout he couldn't understand. But he endured the beating in pure silence. "That was good. Next task, identifying footprints, lets go." They were acting like he wasn't in emense pain right now! This seemed like it was going to be a long and painful lesson.

_"You're nothing but a whore boy, a whore!" the sobs increased from the small body. The hands that touched his body left cut's a bruises and pain, such horrible pain. He couldn't escape, he never could. Each night his father would drag him from his bed and...use him or let his friends use him or let complete strangers use him for money. Tristan just wanted to die, he just wanted to die!_

_Other hands, newer hands, touching him, playing with him, "teaching" him. Harsh laughter, pain, more pain, whispered word's, threats. Tristan never fought, that led to more pain. They like him willing, they liked him begging but Tristan only begged once and only then for it to be over and done with. He was nothing but a whore, a whore who wondered constantly why he was alive._

He returned to the other boys 2 monthes later, a trained scout and tracker and a different boy. The other's noticed immediatly, he didn't speak at all and he shied away from physical contact. In the training grounds he was ruthless and never lost a fight, not even to Lancelot who was the best fighter...or was.

"Something happened to him in his training," Galahad muttered as they ate, Tristan away from the others. Gawain, Bors, Dagonet and Lancelot nodded in agreement.

"Hey look, Roman's," all of the Sarmatian's watched to Roman soldiers get some food and ale, then take a seat at Tristen's table actually talking to him!

"It's the ones that trained him," Lancelot said. The group watched as Tristen answered the Roman's question's but then focused on his food until the one next to him touched his shoulder. It was obvious to anyone that he had tensed up and stopped moving, possibly stopped breathing.

"Something's up with them," Dagonet murmered, the others nodded in agreement.

"Look!" Galahad gasped, the Roman's hand was on Tristan's arse as he talked with his companion's. Tristan was looking away, trembling.

"Why doesn't he stop him?" Bors wondered aloud.

"He's crying," Galahad whispered and they all looked shocked as a single tear fell down Tristan's cheek. This seemed to make the Roman angry as he started to snap and grabbed Tristan's arm in a tight grip. Tristan shook his head quickly but did not struggle as he was pulled from the room, a look of dispair etched on his face.

"What is going on?" Gawain wondered.

"Let's go," Lancelot rose quickly, grabbing his twin swords and followed the men, followed by the others. What they found shocked and scared them. Two of the Roman's were holding Tristan's arms in a death grip while one forcefully kissed him. The last two just stood and laughed.

The Sarmatian's didn't think twice. Bors pulled the guy off Tristan and punched him in the jaw. Gawain and Galahad took care of the ones holding his arms, Lancelot and Dagonet the ones laughing. Eventually the five Roman's were unconscious and possibly gravely wounded.

"You shouldn't have done that," Tristan mumbled, looking at the Roman's.

"They shouldn't have been doing that to you," Lancelot said coldly.

"Everyone else does, why shouldn't the Roman's," and with that Tristan walked off slowly, his head low.

"What did he mean by that?" Bors asked.

"I don't know, everyone keep their eyes peeled, something's wrong with him and we need to find out before our new commander arrives, Arturius," Lancelot decided. The others agreed, whatever was wrong with Tristan they would help.

A/N Bit short but it get's the point across. Who should find out about Tristan's dad etc? Should it be Arthur? Oh and how should Arthur be received?


	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own King Arthur. The background stories to all but Lancelot I have made up as this is a work of fiction, not a history book so if you know that it is deffinatly not true...just go with it ok? I may be an A-Level history student but we don't learn about Arthur and his knights.

**Warning: Attempted rape, mentions of rape, violence and slash. If you no likey you no ready.**

The Past Can Hurt Just As Much As The Present

Chapter Three

'I didn't need their help, now they're interfeared my plan won't work! Those men had thought me weak, they thought that I wouldn't resist-but I was planning against them, I was going to give them what they deserved! But now I'll have to rethink my idea and possibly my punnishment, maybee I could...'

Arthur rode his horse into the courtyard apprehensively. He looked around at all the boys there, some were fighting, some cleaning their weopens but they all stopped to look at him almost immediatly.

"Who are you? This is Sarmatian's only," a boy sharpening an axe asked angrilly. Arthur dissmounted and turned to him.

"I am Arturius Castus, your new Commander," Arthur said bravely although really his terrified of the taller , stronger looking boy. Most of the boys scoffed, some even laughed amongst themselves.

"You're our new commander?" a boy with dark curly brown hair and twin blades asked increadulously. "You'll never be our truly leader you Roman idiot, come on Bors." After that most of the boys left, actually all bar one left and that boy wasn't armed, just dressed in peasant clothes.

"Would you like for me to care for your horse sir? Or would you prefer to do it yourself?" he asked respectfully.

"Who are you?" Arthur asked the boy.

"Jols sir, squire to the Sarmatian Knights," Jols said cheerfully, stroking the horses main gently. The horse neighted, turning his head to sniff the boys head, then nickering in approval.

"Well yes then Jols, you may see to my horse if it does not take you away from other duties," Arthur said smiling slightly, at least someone was being nice to him - even if it was part of the job of Squire to be nice to your master. Once the boy and horse was gone arthur felt very much alone.

And then he heard a sound, like that of someone struggling. Slowly he walked around the building and saw a boy with uneven plait's in his hair fighting a Roman without weapons-and winning. Arthur watched as the boy suddenly took a knife out of his boot and pressed it into the mans **crotch!**

"Did you think you'd beaten me, that I would sumbit, that I needed my fellow knight's to defend me? Did you?" the boy demanded angrilly and Arthur almost gasped at the venom in his voice.

"I-I-" the man stuttered, staring at the knife in fear.

"And when I wouldn't willingly as you'd hoped you decided to force me, thinking me weak and beaton. Do I look weak and beaton to you?" the boy shouted and the man whimpered. Arthur wondered what he was talknig about. "Have you heard the story about the Sarmatian knight that castrated a Roman soldier for attempting to rape on of his fellow knights? That was me. If that's what attempted rape got, what do you think you're going to get after what you and your twisted friends have done? Oh yes, that boy was me," and with that growl he pushed the knife into the mans crotch and down. The man screamed. Loudly.

"You bastard!"

"Get out of my sight!" the boy threw the man away from him and the man clutched at his crotch a red stain blossoming on his trousers and then ran away, tears of pain and humiliation dripping down his face. The boy spat on the ground and the wiped his knife clean on his dark leggings before going into the building.

Arthur was paralised with shock. That boy was insaine! If Arthur did anything to upset him he'd have to fear for his life! Oh how he wished he hadn't been given this command...and he'd only been there 15 minutes. Now he'd have to start trying to make a good impression...

Oh no this wouldn't do, a rectangular table. Where was the equality in that? No that would be the first thing to go. Now let's see what design of a round table I can come up with...

"He seems weak," Bors grumbled. Galahad nodded from where he lay on his bed. Gawain made a sound of agreement as he sewed up a rip in his shirt. Dagonet chewed on his bread, a thoughtful look on his face.

"He's brave, he stood up to me without fear," he commented once he'd swallowed.

"He's Roman, he'll never be one of us," Lancelot said coldly. Tristan entered the room, silent as ever but an evil grin on his face.

"What are you grinning about?" Galahad asked.

"Oh nothing, just got a little revenge on a certain Roman," Tristan sat on his bed, took out his booth knife and started to clean to blood that hadn't come off on the grass.

"What did you do?" Lancelot asked.

"The same as last time," Tristan said, pointedly looking at Galahad who grimaced.

"What's that?" Bors asked. Galahad mimed slicing his crotch. "Oh." 'Tristan is sick and twisted!' "And what did he do to deserve that?"

"He raped someone, no one deserves to be raped," Tristan said calmly.

"And he paid the ultimate price," Gawain said remarkably calm. Tristan just nodded. A knock on the door made them all look up as Jols entered.

"Arturius wants to see you all in the meeting room, oh and he wants you to bring your axes," he said.

"What?" everyone was confused but obeyed slowly. When they got to the meeting room they found Arthur stood on the elegant wooded table.

"What are we here for?" Lancelot asked him disrespectfully.

"I Arthur Castus. I am to be your commander. But I'd also like to be your friend," this brought about a murmer. "And to be your friend all of us may be equal. Take your seats," he instructed. Confused they obeyed and he moved to sit at the head of the table. "Does this look equal, one man sitting at the head of the table because it has been decided by higher powers that he is to be in charge? Not to me it doesn't, I have been taught to fight against this. Therefore I propose a new seating arrangement, infact a new table," he rose and took a roll of parchment from a servant. He unrolled it onto the table and all of the knight's looked on, slightly interested despite their dislike of him.

"It's round," Galahad said in surprise.

"Yes, with a round table there is no head person, no one person is singled out to be special. I have asked this table made but before that can begin this one must be destroyed. I know you resent my Roman blood and I can't help that but maybe in time you can learn to trust me. I'd like to start now, those with axes who think this new table is a good idea, I leave it to you, the task of destroying this one. Of course you may discuss it first, that's what equals do." With that said he excused himself.

"He's strange...different," Gawain said awkwardly. Dagonet was studying the picture, a round table, all men equal...that was a good idea. He stood slowly calmly and climbed onto the table before swinging his axe up and down sharply into the wood. Slowly the others started to join in.

"This doesn't mean I respect him," Lancelot snapped.

"Not respect, not yet, but this is a good idea. It'll be nice to be equal," Gawain said as he attacked the table. (Don't you feel sorry for the poor table.)

A/N Not as long as the other two chapters and possibly a bit rushed but I like the ending, could you imagine all those sexy boys attacking a table? He he! Oh and thanks to **Camreyn** who so rightly pointed out that Tristen seemed different in the second chapter, hope this explains why.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own King Arthur. The background stories to all but Lancelot I have made up as this is a work of fiction, not a history book so if you know that it is deffinatly not true...just go with it ok? I may be an A-Level history student but we don't learn about Arthur and his knights.

**Warning: Attempted rape, mentions of rape, violence and slash. If you no likey you no ready.**

The Past Can Hurt Just As Much As The Present

Chapter Four,

"Could I speak with you please?" Arthur finally worked up enough courage to ask Tristan who just shrugged, put away his throwing knives and followed Arthur out of the room. "I've been heering rumours that you're the knight who...hurt the Romans...I also saw it happen on my first day in command but..."

"Yeah it's me, but they got just what they deserved," Tristan answered shortly.

"And what could they have done to deserve such a final punnishment?" Arthur asked. Tristan smirked.

"They're rapists." Arthur had suspected this answer but not with Tristan's voice holding such hatred and a sick sound of pleasure when he continued, "They got what they brought on themselves."

"Whether that may be I am afraid that your action's cannot go unpunnished. You are confined to the Sarmation area of the town and you will help Jols with his duties for the rest of the monthe," Arthur said strictly. Tristan scowled at him but bowed respectively and went back into the room. Arthur let his breath out and tried to stop his hands trembling by clasping them together. Tristan was a rather scary boy sometimes.

"That boy is a menace!"

"Look what he did to the others!"

"Yes and what punnishment does he receive from that babe of a commander they have? A warning, confinement to their part of town and stable duties! Nothing!"

"I say we give him our own punnishment."

"Yes, he deserves worse than stable duties."

"So it's agreed, we snatch him and **punnish** him?"

"Agreed."

"There was another attack on a Roman soldier. He was trying to get this 13 year old girl to lay with him and a hooded figure appeared and...well you know how it goes," Arthur's ears pricked up as he heard the conversation Jols was having with the stable boy behind him. It sounded like Tristan had been at it again. He sighed and set out to find him.

When he passed a derelict building he was surprised to hear shuffling coming from inside, thuds soon accompanying the shuffling. He peered through a gap in the door and gasoed. Tristan was lying on the floor, blood dripping from various cuts. His arms were bound behind his back and five roman's were punching him and kicking him.

"This is what you get for deceaving us and for then ruining our lives!" one growled at Tristan who coughed deeply, blood dripping from his lips.

"I should have done more after what you have done," he spluttered at them, spitting at the closest's feet.

"Pig!" one shouted, pulling a knife from his belt and just as Arthur forced his way inside stabbed it between Tristan's ribs...

A/N Sorry about the wee bit of a cliffhanger. Hope the updates pleased you lot. Oh and sorry it's short.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own King Arthur. The background stories to all but Lancelot I have made up as this is a work of fiction, not a history book so if you know that it is deffinatly not true...just go with it ok? I may be an A-Level history student but we don't learn about Arthur and his knights.

**Warning: Attempted rape, mentions of rape, violence and slash. If you no likey you no ready.**

The Past Can Hurt Just As Much As The Present

Chapter Five,

Arthur didn't think, just pulled out his fathers sword and placed the tip at the mans throat, growling a warning to him,

"Don't move another inch or I will kill you where you stand!"

The room went silent, all except for Tristan's pathetic gasps to try and get air into his now wounded lungs. Arthur shifted his gaze from man to man and finally looked at Tristan. Tears were falling down the boys cheeks as he tried to stop the bleeding without moving the kinfe, it wasn't working well.

"LANCELOT! BORS! DAGONET!" Arthur shouted loudly. It seemed like and age until they got their and when they did they brought with them the rest of the knights.

"What the...?" Bors wondered aloud. A moan from Tristan made all of them look down at him and at the knife sticking out from his ribs. Before Arthur could even give an order each of the Roman's were ceized in tight grips while Gawain and Galahad knelt by Tristan.

"Galahad, run and fetch a surgeon," Gawain ordered quietly, putting a hand under Tristan's head to keep his head up. Arthur was too angry to really care that the knights-to-be were beating the roman's viscously. All he could do was stare at Tristan.

"He'll be fine in a few weeks as long as he doesn't get out of bed," the surgeon said quickly as he rose from Tristan's side. "Change the banadages every day and if he gets a fever fetch me right away." Arthur was stood at the foot of the bed, Dagonet and Bors to one side, Gawain and Galahad to the other. Lancelot lent against the wall, tapping it impatiently. The other knights hadn't been able to fit in the room.

"What will happen to the ones that did this?" Dagonet asked.

"A thorough lashing, if I've anything to do with it," Arthur growled.

"They deserve nothing but death," Lancelot growled.

"Maybe they shall get it," Arthur said. He squeezed Tristan's shoulder gently before leaving the room. The others similarly checked for themselves that Tristan was 'ok' before leaving to watch the lashing.

"25 26 27 28...45 46 47 48...67 68 69...81."

"Stop on that one, he's barely breathing."

"Good. Continue, they decerve it. 82 83 84..."

A/N Finally, I've been so busy with my a-levels which is why i haven't been updating but here you go, shortest chappie yet though.


End file.
